The moon right before the eclipse, big and bright.
"remember that one time in 7th grade when you-"
when i was a kid, i asked my dad where babies came from and he said something like “ur mom had a stomach ache and she went to the bathroom n then came out with you” and i feel like thats his way of calling me a piece of shit
as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
That laugh tho
I went on a journey of self discovery today
so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and
i’m fucking crying
it says ‘no.’
it literally says NO.
oh my god
Dentist: *Has multiple things in your mouth*
"So how’s school?"